


Tired

by Soft_Lani



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25214242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soft_Lani/pseuds/Soft_Lani
Summary: Changkyun was tired.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Tired

Changkyun was tired of everything. He was exhausted from the glares. He was tired of the lies. He was tired of just not being good enough for what Monsta X needed. He read the comments, there were so many, from their fans. No, it was his Hyungs’ fans. He did not have any fans, and if he did, they probably left him because he wasn’t good enough. Sitting in his studio by himself was the only place he could be himself. He pretended to be happy with the others; it was so hard to when he was drowning in his thoughts. He acted that the lies of how much they loved him did not hurt, how can he believe them when they were so cold before. He barely was able to suffer the glares from the older trainees that he bypassed when getting picked for the show, it wasn’t his fault that the company chose him out of nowhere.

Changkyun was tired.

He stared blankly at the music document that was supposed to be lyrics to one of their new songs, and he had nothing written. He felt as though he had nothing to write. Nothing that would be as good as what Jooheon could write. He heard the door open and turned his chair. It was Kihyun. “Hi, Hyung.” He couldn’t even bring himself to work up a fake smile like he usually did. Kihyun, of course, immediately sensed that something was wrong. Still, something that he always appreciated about the other was that he never pushed Changkyun into talking, even though he promised all his Hyungs that he would speak with them when he felt like this.

“Hi, Changkyunnie. I brought dinner, can you please eat with Hyung.” Changkyun did not honestly feel hungry, but he got up and shuffled over to the couch in his studio were Kihyun was already setting up a place to eat. It was always easier not to fight Kihyun when it came to food. They ate in silence, and Changkyun just wanted to tell Kihyun everything. Kihyun always helped him when his head got like this, even if he hated relying on the other.

“Hyung.” Changkyun just stared at the ground and heard Kihyun hum in question. “Hyung, I’m really tired.” Kihyun put down his chopsticks and turned to Changkyun. Whenever Changkyun opened up to him, he always gave his full attention to the maknae because it was rare that he relied on them.

“Kyunnie, is it as bad as last time?” Kihyun asked softly, last time ended up with Changkyun in the hospital, and Kihyun never forgot how small the maknae looked at that moment. It scared him, it scared all of them, how fast Changkyun could spiral out of control and that they could never catch him in time.

“I don’t know,” Changkyun answered honestly. How can he tell how terrible he felt if he just felt like nothing all the time? Kihyun hugged Changkyun and maneuvered them to where they were both laying down on the couch with Changkyun on top of Kihyun. Kihyun started running one of his hand down Changkyun’s back, “Hyung, I just want to stop being fake all the time. I don’t want to have to be happy all the time.”

“Is it that the only thing making you tired?” Changkyun moved so that his head was in the space between Kihyun’s neck and shoulder, and Kihyun hugged the younger tight. Changkyun shook his head, and Kihyun could feel the younger’s shoulder shake as he started crying.

“No. I… I started reading comments again. I know you guys said not to, but how can I not when I know they’re right. I don’t belong with you guys. I’m not good enough.”

“Kyunnie, you are good enough. You belong here with us. We want you here. Those people don’t know you. They only saw one side of you, but I know you have so many other sides. You are kind and funny and caring. You are the best maknae we could hope for and so much more to me. You’re my brother Kyunnie.” Changkyun started crying harder, “I know it’s hard to believe me, but you’re my brother Kyunnie, and I love you. I’ll say it forever until you believe me, and then I’ll say it more because that’s what you deserve.”

“What if I never believe you?” Changkyun sobbed.

“I did say forever, silly.” Kihyun could feel some tears escape his eyes. He turned them, so they were both on their sides, looking at each other. Kihyun started wiping away Changkyun’s tears. “I’ll say it until you get sick of it, Changkyunnie. I love you. You’re my precious brother, and I’m so thankful that you are in my life.”

“Can we sleep here tonight, Hyung. I don’t want to go home.”

“Yeah, just this once.” Kihyun usually would say no but looking at how vulnerable Changkyun was at this moment and gave in. Changkyun cuddled close to Kihyun.

“Thanks, Kihyun-hyung.” Changkyun was still tired. He always felt like he was not good enough. But he was holding Kihyun to his promise of forever loving him because even if he felt like they were lying to him, he loved his older brothers.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to try and clear my head and kinda imposed my feelings onto Changkyun. It's not the best thing I have written in my opinion but I think it's one of my favorites because it's exactly what I want it to be. Thank you for taking the time to read it <3  
> Please remember to stay safe. :)


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